Breaking News!
August 18th, 2008 by Jim Clark
Some people get their news from CNN, some get theirs online. Me, I get mine from the subjects of the emails caught in my spam folder. Just look at today’s headlines:
Angelina Jolie Set To Destroy Own Vagina
John Mccain Denies Allegations That He Is A Politician
John Edwards Admits Fathering Clay Aiken’s Baby
Unemployed To Be Used For Soup
Gays Banned From Owning Pets In New York
Gay Marriage Could Be Profitable
Bush ‘Troubled’ by Gay Marriages. Declares San Francisco Part of ‘Axis of Evil’
Polar Bear Finds Yoga Great For Flexibility, But Murder On The Balls
Attack Of The Zombie Negroes: Dick Cheney
Mike Tyson To Fight Michael Jackson
Children Admit To Being Little Shits
Bush Tours America To Survey Damage Caused By His Disastrous Presidency
Illegal Immigrants Seize Control Of The U.S.
Bush Sells Louisiana Back to the French
God Destroys Boise For Not Being Gay Enough
NASA Claim to Have Achieved First Zero-Gravity Erection
Scientists Warn Of New Global Luke Warming Threat
Cindy Mccain Talks About Her Boobs
Cheney Visits Afghan President, Shoots Him In The Face
Switzerland To Be Devoured By Black Hole
Aliens Abducted By Michael Jackson
(that last one is my favorite)