The Offer.
November 12th, 2006 by Jim Clark
The devil came up behind me and poked me in the back.
“Ow,” I said.
“Sorry,” he apologized. “I was trying to scare you.”
“What do you want, you ol’ devil?” I asked him, not too politely.
“I wish to make you an offer,” he said. “I am prepared to give you that which every man desires.”
I furrowed my brow at him. “And what would that be?” I asked.
His razor-sharp teeth glinted in the sunlight as he smiled.
“I will give you immense riches,” said the devil. “All the gold an elephant can carry. A sparkling red ruby for every grain of sand in the Sahara. Rivers of satin and pearls.
“I will make you famous, known the world over and admired by all. Women will want lay with you, men will want to be you, children will model their lives from yours. The old will see you and remember times when life was grand.
“You will inspire the world to turn. The moon and the stars in the sky will all shine by your command alone. You will be immortal.
“All this will be yours, now and forever, until there is no more world to possess.”
I sat down on the ground, giving overdue attention to an errant shoelace that had gone too long untied. “I see” was my reply as the rabbit went around the tree back through the hole. I squinted up at his tall frame and noticed that his silhouette in front of the afternoon sun looked like a large black gash that had been sliced deep into the universe.
“And what must I give you in return for all these things?” I asked.
“You must surrender your love,” he said. His knobby finger pointed over towards the long-haired girl kneeling in the garden, her fingers dancing a waltz in the soft earth.
“Abandon her, and all that you desire will be yours.”
The tired bones in my back creaked in protest as I stood up to look the devil in the eye. His breath was hot against my face.
“You, sir, are a dumb ol’ devil,” I said. “I am already the richest man in the world because I have her.
“The weight of my love for her would break the back of a dozen elephants. The volume of my love would flood the rivers and fill the oceans to overflow. Rubies and pearls and precious gems are dull and lifeless when held aloft beside the luster of her beauty.
“Those who look upon us feel envy for the love we share. When I am with her, I am the most powerful man in the world, strong enough to rival Ceasar, Napoleon, Alexander. Passion is my sword and it cuts deep into the heart of all things.
“The moon and the stars in the sky seemingly exist for her alone, suspended above as if only to illuminate her eyes and give them sparkle to shine.
“I am truly immortal, for I shall live forever in her heart. I am hers, now and for all time, until the world spins its last twirl into the sun.
“You see… All that I desire is already mine to hold.”
And with that, I socked the devil square on the nose. He fell backwards into a garbage can, sending it sprawling across the sidewalk with a loud clatter. A large bag popped free from the can and burst open into his arms.
“Ow,” he said, not too politely. A broken eggshell from the morning’s breakfast began a slow march down the front of his suit and rested peacefully in his lap. Somewhere nearby a dog began to bark.
